


Blood Like Lemonade / An Umbrella Academy Fanfiction

by Mokii



Series: Umbrella Academy [1]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Drunk Sex, Incest, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Shameless Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-25
Updated: 2019-02-25
Packaged: 2019-11-05 18:06:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17923748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mokii/pseuds/Mokii
Summary: Diego reluctantly picks Klaus up after a wild night of events as he's spent the money he had for travel home on cigarettes. What more can the night offer with a subdued Klaus and an aloof Diego?





	Blood Like Lemonade / An Umbrella Academy Fanfiction

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this to Morcheeba's Blood Like Lemonade https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7WDUB3ZojE (Highly recommend reading this whilst listening to Blood Like Lemonade for the full effect!) which featured in the beginning of episode 4 of The Umbrella Academy. It's more of a Luther theme, but I couldn't help but imagine a midnight turn of events in a quiet car journey home between Klaus and Diego.

“Hurry up, get in.” Diego didn’t even take the time to look to his side as the passenger door swung open rapidly, the car shifting a touch as Klaus clambered into it. “I haven’t got all night.” It wasn’t until the door slammed shut that the driver glanced over at Klaus beside him as he released a breathy sigh of contemptment. He was so clearly high although, mainly drunk; having lived with him for half of his life, Diego learned how to tell the difference. 

Today, Klaus was partially subdued after an eventful night, tousled black hair framing an eyeliner-smudged gaze that was glazed over ever so slightly. He was burying himself in his signature suede and fur coat and seemed to just be making himself comfortable before he returned the gaze. “I love you too.” The intoxicated male pointed puckered lips in Diego’s direction as his hands sunk into his lap. The action made Diego groan as his focus returned back to the road, twisting the key in the ignition to fire up the engine and make a move back to the academy. 

It didn’t take Klaus long to pull out a roll up and for Diego’s concentration to waver as he held a hand in Klaus’ direction in refusal. “Ah, no, no way. Not in my car.” The male beside him frowned and his lips formed a pout as his arms were held up in dramatic surrender.  
“I wasn’t going to spark it up without permission, don’t worry, you can have some too.” His voice was a pitch higher in sarcastic suggestion as he lowered his hands and pulled a lighter from his leather pants. “Though, I don’t think you should be driving if you’re going to be smoking Diego, it isn’t safe.”  
“Klaus, for god's sake!” Before the flame of Klaus’ lighter could hit the end of the joint, Diego snatched it from between his pursed lips and squeezed it into a fisted hand, pointing in accusation. “I’m picking you up because you asked for once rather than just inserting yourself. Enjoy it, it’s your last.” 

Klaus slouched towards the drivers seat and moaned in displeasure as he pawed at Diego’s bicep, his eyebrows pinching and his mouth drooping. “Oh, come on Diego, I was just playing around, please? Just this once, I swear I’ll smoke out the window.” His eyes were wide and pleading as Diego offered his a single glare, staring a little longer than he anticipated into the puppy eyes led against his side. A silence filled the car as Diego contemplated the idea before essentially giving in and opening his palm to his side, the blunt - albeit crumpled - led along it. Without hesitation, Klaus stole his cigarette back from Diego, lying a variety of kisses along it as he responded with a grateful sigh. “Now I REALLY love you.” Another satisfied moan fell out of Klaus’ mouth, causing the man beside him to shake his head. 

Rolling down the window halfway and allowing the cool midnight air the fly through the car, Klaus sunk back into the seat and pressed his feet up to the dashboard before pressing the flame of his pink lighter to the end of his blunt. With a thick billow of smoke floating from between Klaus’ lips and being dragged out of the window, his hand reached up to his hair to readjust it. “Ugh… now that’s a good taste of Gods gift right there.” He leaned forward and pressed the on button on the car radio, tuning to Rouge; Klaus’ favourite radio station. “We need some music for this journey, can’t keep listening to you sighing or I’ll wanna off myself.”

Diego kept his tongue as Klaus seemed to disregard his wishes but he rolled his shoulders back and stared down the dimly lighted highway, music drowning the quiet that once filled the car.

_“Healing holy man, once upon a time,  
He lived for his wife up until the crime”_

Klaus was reserved as he let the music play, smoke spiraling around his figure before being caught in the outside wind as the quiet from his passenger caught Diego’s attention. He gazed curiously at the male beside him, the curls in Klaus’ hair quivering from the icy breeze as the dull orange street lights casted a golden glow across his skin, highlighting his cheekbones and keeping his black eyes in shadow. The passing lights tanned his chest and dribbled down the long v neck of his tattered shirt, his neck rich with corded gemstone necklaces and other such accessories.

_“Hunting high and low to seek revenge,  
Brand new moral code, got made reluctant renegade”_

“Remember that one party forever ago when we were like 19 and we ended up running into each other?” Klaus’ rough voice forced Diego’s attention back to the road at he shrugged lightly to himself, convinced that Klaus was too drunk and too high to even remember that night; hell, he could only remember part of it. “I’d had maybe 3 of these by the time you found me in that bedroom. What were you doing- you were- you were looking for Eudora weren’t you?” Klaus waved the cigarette around in his hand as he narrated what he could remember, the strong scent of weed invading Diego’s personal space as he started feeling like he was back in that room. “This song was playing downstairs, it felt like it went on forever..”

Diego was unsure whether Klaus was purposely ignoring the elephant in the room or had completely forgotten what happened, however Diego felt a tightness swelling in his pants the stronger the smell of weed infested his nostrils.

_“Leaving empty souls when he avenged,  
Evil spirits flowed, he drank the blood like lemonade”_

Klaus turned his focus onto Diego’s clear facade; he hadn’t forgotten at all, merely prodding at a subject neither one of them brought up since it happened. Well, it was pretty hard to when Diego left the Academy 2 years before that party and running into him was merely by chance. Subtly, Klaus blew a cloud of smoke in Diego’s general direction, the target fluttering his eyes at the intensity before snapping back to reality and swatting away the remaining smoke.

“Klaus, I’m driving.”  
“Then pull over.” The other sounded nonchalant and somewhat smug. He brought his legs down and leaned forward, his head sitting into his palm as he grinned towards Diego. “I remember what you did to me, Diego.” Diego’s grip on the wheel tightened considerably, his jaw clenching even more as his teeth began to ache. “It was better than any high I’d had and needed more but you were nowhere to be seen when I woke up.”

_“Cozy campfire crowd with a case of wine, I’m feeling fine.  
Bounty hunter now and it crossed the line, cross that line”_

It was clear that Diego didn’t really know what to respond with; his brother never being quite so frank with him without any hint of sarcasm. It wasn’t uncommon for Diego to become unresponsive but Klaus could already feel claustrophobic in is own pants and he knew damn well Diego was only refusing to comply for the same reason.

“Those marks didn’t disappear for weeks after that night and man…” A wide smile crept onto Klaus’ thin lips as he inhaled slowly, mischief disguised behind it. “ _Man_ , I moaned your name most nights the more I sullied myself because of you.” Kicking a leg back up onto the dashboard, the drunkard threw his free hand up and behind the head of his seat as he rolled his hips into the air to emphasis his words. “Every.. Single.. _Night_ , Diego. You see what you do to me?” Diego had kept his eyes straight, lips twitching with every noise that left Klaus’ mouth; how was he being so vulgar? Or rather; why was this turning him on so much? He gave into the temptation to look at his brother, the dishevelled look on his face as he bit into his lip and captured Diego’s eyes with his own fierce glare reminiscent of that night. 

That’s why. That face that told him everything he needed to know about Klaus; how to please him, what made him bite his lip like that or force his eyes to shut, what made him shiver and what made him ache.  
Klaus’ hand stayed where it was although slumped slightly onto the top of his head as his fingers tangled in his locks. As the street lights continued to pass, less frequent than before, Diego’s eyes trailed to a partially noticeable bulge Klaus was trying to make more comfortable, the hand that held his cigarette pushing at the fabric that restricted his thighs.

_“Bounty hunter now and it crossed the line,  
Cross that line”_

Rolling his tongue around his mouth, Diego cleared his throat and pulled up into a quiet lay-by, the rumble of the engine stopping. Silence enveloped the car once again however Klaus merely leaned across Diego’s torso, reaching out to turn the car keys as the lights turned back on and the Radio started back up though the engine remained dormant. He didn’t move, the proximity to Diego’s crotch making the driver gulp as those smudged eyes looked up at him. “I was listening to that.”

Without much else in commentary, a hand was launched up to catch Klaus’ throat, a groan of surprise coming from him before a smirk stretched across the junkie’s lips. Diego brought the male up and back to his eye level, their faces inches apart as Klaus brought the last of his blunt to his mouth. 

Following a sharp inhale, Klaus forced himself closer to his captor as the smoke swirling from his lips traveled across to Diego’s, the other’s lips apart to accept the smoke. The moment felt like an hour as he felt the burning of the drug in the depths of his throat, feeling the intensity of Klaus’ intent stare the tighter his hand was around his neck. Diego stopped for a second before dragging his brother to him, locking their lips together and clashing teeth. The rest of the cigarette smoke seeped out from between them as Klaus threw the last of it out of the car window before clambering over and settling down on top of Diego’s lap. The extra weight onto his groin made Diego rip Klaus away and lift his head up, squeezing around the edges of his throat until that infamous look appeared on Klaus’ face; flushed and breathless, eager and willing. He’d plead for tighter if he could even though his airways were closed already, his hands clasping onto Diego’s stiff arm before his lids drooped and his ears started ringing. It was then that Diego let go, the other taking a deep gasp of air before being taken hostage in another aggressive kiss, both of them feeling the heat growing between them.

_“Hunting high and low to seek revenge,  
Brand new moral code, got made reluctant renegade”_

Diego’s hands drifted low, slithering underneath Klaus’ light top as he could feel the other’s skin prickling beneath his cool touch. His fingertips grazed Klaus’ nipples, greeted by a muffled groan of content and Diego could feel him smiling against his mouth which only made him crave more. Klaus clung to the collar of Diego’s shirt, trying to close off any space between them, flush against one another as the music droned on amongst their sighs and soft grunts.

Gasping for a chance at air, Klaus broke from the kiss and breathed deep, Diego’s hand snaking away from his chest and fisting into the back of his brothers hair, snapping his head back to expose his reddened and slightly bruising neck. Diego marvelled at his handy work as a throaty laugh slowly left Klaus, sucking air through gritted teeth. 

“Make it official, baby.” Klaus’ Adams apple bobbed up and down as he gulped. “Make me bleed.” Finding a good place along the plane of Klaus’ neck, Diego ran the length of his tongue from his collar to his chin before sinking his teeth into the soft skin at the base of his throat. A broken and whorish moan from Klaus overwhelmed the music, Diego’s groin twitching needily as he felt wet against his lips and a twang of iron blanket his tongue. He dragged it along Klaus’ neck, leaving a weak stain of blood in its path.

_“Leaving empty souls when he avenged,  
Evil spirits flowed, he drank the blood like lemonade”_

Diego couldn’t handle it much longer and fiddled with Klaus’ pants, digging down into his boxers and freeing his length from its confinements. A similarly broken mewl escaped Klaus as the hold on his hair kept him from watching as Diego clasped onto his shaft and began to stroke, a pink blush shading his cheeks. The position caused his coat to fall from his shoulders and pool at his waist, his own hands trying to snake past Diego’s hands and onto his pants to help him out as well. Eventually Diego released his hold on Klaus’ hair, the movement to look down highlighting the tenderness surrounding his neck. There was a messy heat between them, Diego’s hand and the edge of both of their pants soaked through with precum.

“I don’t remember you letting any of this go to waste last time.” Diego spoke for the first time in a while and with cocky confidence, however Klaus was too invested in his own lust to respond with any kind of sarcasm. The male beneath rubbed across both of their slits, squeezing their lengths together and letting precum dribble down onto his fingers. With a hand resting along the inside of Klaus’ thigh, Diego raised his wet fingertips to the other’s lips, grinning widely. “Don’t wanna make a mess in my car, do you?” With a lazy look on his face, Klaus let his mouth open to invite Diego’s fingers in, sucking intently on them as his lids dropped. Diego continued his slow squeezing around their shafts as Klaus soon pulled off of his fingers and pushed forward, melding together yet again and letting Diego get a taste of his own medicine.

_“In the border town down in Mexico,  
They let him go”_

Diego’s stroking quivered, feeling inconsistent so Klaus took over for himself, their knuckles bashing as their speed increased the sloppier their kiss became. Klaus’ free hand pawed at Diego’s nape, scratching his nails across it as he giggled into Diego’s mouth with the internal bubbling feeling of his climax closing in. The other responded by taking Klaus’ lower lip between his teeth and ripping into the skin, his eyes piercing Klaus’.

_“Law and order now 'cause he runs the show,  
So now you know”_

“I-I’m close..” Klaus’ words were almost incomprehensible but Diego knew exactly what he meant. Slipping his head past Klaus’ chin, Diego’s lips reattached themselves to the side of his brother’s neck, rolling his tongue against the sensitive skin. Klaus’ started shivering before he came, an array of increasingly intense mewls spoiling Diego’s ears as most of his own sounds were lost within Klaus’ collar, his hand slowing as he followed the other and soaked the space between them.

As the song reached its final legs, Klaus leaned back against the edge of the steering wheel, studying the mess in his and Diego’s lap, glancing around at the steamed windows surrounding them. “I don’t remember that being.. Quite so…” a weak hand gestured around the car. “Steamy..” Klaus’ laugh resonated around the car, pulling a sly smirk from Diego in amusement.

_“Hunting high and low, exact revenge,  
Brand new moral code, got made reluctant renegade”_

“Only one of us was drunk this time.” Diego reached across to the passenger compartment and grabbed a set of tissues, passing some to Klaus before zipping himself back up. The pair slowly cleaned themselves up, Klaus still unfinished when Diego nudged at him to climb off. Tumbling back to the seat across from his brother, Klaus looked at the left over mess on his hand, catching Diego’s gaze before running his tongue across it to clean it; Diego’s smirk widened.

_“Leaving empty souls when he avenged,  
Evil spirits flowed, he drank the blood like lemonade”_

“Nothing to waste, right?” 

**Author's Note:**

> If anybody wishes to request any stories with the Umbrella Academy characters, please PM me or comment on this story! I would be happy to make more for anybody reading that enjoys what I do. Request also via my tumblr for anonymous requests! https://moki-mokii.tumblr.com/ask
> 
> Who wants to know what happened between these two at that party?


End file.
